Hilarious Hillary, Little Tree and Adam and Eve
printHilarious Hillary, Little Tree and Adam and Eve
Once upon a time in a distant past, 6013 Years before our time, popped up in history some God and he made Adam and Eve. Once the thing of Adam dropped on Eve and they became aware, they were naked and going to lose Paradise. As a consequence, the first human dispute was born:
Adam: "There up on the tree, is an apple." - Eve: "No, it's a snake." - And it goes: An apple - a snake - an apple- a snake - for half an hour. Finally Eve said: "So take that god-damn Apple" - and Adam held the first structured Derivative in his hand - and Eve got the nice snake named Friedman.
Later on, some Old Greeks were spreading some principles of wisdom over philosophy in the rounds of their disciples in Athens - about very simple things:
Plato: "Tell any man, he becomes rich with triple A - and he will believe it." - Socrates: "Tell any woman, she will become poor by marrying this idiot - and she won't believe it." And so, the masters of higher thoughts created the basis of human philosophy about the intellect of the two opposite sexes.
Some years later came Cesar, visited Cairo and was astonished to see houses looking like sky-scrapers. But Cleopatra pointed to the Pyramids and a Bury around Dubai and said: "It's all a fake, it's a funeral." No funeral was the fact, that with Polanski Sex she got all power, whereas Cesar was killed from behind for far less of stupid behaviour.
Came along some Napoleon, seized a golden Crown, put it on his idiotic Head and yelled: "I am the new Emperor of France - no Pope will ever be more important!" - and he was right. He promised to poor folks some beautiful mass-tourism into Preussen, Habsburg, Poland, Russia, as far as Moscow - and they followed him and experienced very interesting and cold times in winter snow.
Some Popes wanted to copy the example, arranged some Machiavelli battles too and when they lost, they made Witches responsible for the misery and burnt them alive, pretending they did funny things with self-invented devils. This was logical because on the side of world's Priests, self-made Gods proved to be great to earn big money with forgiveness-letters. And that trick worked with ALL religions ever invented by humans and their philosophers since Adam and Eve.
The Arabs did not want to stand far behind the wisdom of Roman Popes, invented some Islam Sharia and took profit in favour of their eternal Lust in sex and martial laws. Now they could stone nice girls they called Whores, for criminal deeds the Macho types with their beards could commit any day anew. Afterwards, criminal and ugly Men east of Jerusalem were such in shame, they had to invent some Afghan Burka.
Later on a funny moustache-man out of Germany yelled: "We want to govern the world by a Third Reich. The Roman was the first, don't know what the second was, but we have the third. So give me full power, give me armies, give atom missiles and I will crash Wall Street Greed, crash the Americans, the French, the English and the Russian!" This was the start for collective suicide of a given humanity in economy, ecology, culture - the beginning of the end of a planet, too small to fail.
Anyway, the inventors of science and of cars and airplanes and power stations promised a wise future, a real paradise with Popper mass-growth. But when some 7 billions of a bubble of humans, result of Chinese-like politics in all Lands, wanted to travel around, they found out, there was not enough space, enough oil and coal, enough air and enough intellect - and so the Dynamite geniuses out of Stockholm and Oslo created the Peak of Stupidity: Heroes who, within 50 years, arranged the Climate downfall of humanity in Copenhagen.
About during the some period of times, some Stalin, Mao, Hu and Wen, Putino, Berlusdoggy and Narkozy inclusive a German female Bulldog took over power and promised to ever same dull folks, about the same as our moustache-chap and some Tennos have promised before. You must know: History is a philosophical repetition of always the same scrap - and masses believe by majorities in it and call it Democrazy.
Even later on, a man who was elected hegemonial Master of the Universe over God's own country, by one simple right-wing Judge, popped up in history. This simple-minded western Hero, known under the name of Little Tree, spoke one day to his finance expert, Allah Spam de Greenhorn: "Present some beautiful AAA-State-Papers in form of Asset Backed Securities full of junk, mastered by richest tax-free Elite, and to the charge of Middle Class and Poor, and the whole nation will become rich" - and so it happened.
Later came a Black genius, with name Bin Obama, and promised: "Yes, we can - if we really want. All we have to do is - 'don't worry, be happy." - and he threw behind some 5 trillions of lost gold Dimes some other Keyney Dollars in trillions - and the happy folks danced and sang on Streets: "We have overcome Wall Street and City of London - we are rich and prosperous again and in eternal pyramids of Debts, but IMF-Africa is still in misery and going down the drain just as car-producing workers."
But the most astonishing thing was some Master of State Secretary on the side of Bin Obama. This Hilarious person went down to the Morning-Land, very often, where some cash-oriented Wall Street experts oppressed some poor Arabs for good reasons and spoke: "WE are Justice and Hegemony. WE are the Roman and Third Reich. Dear Settlers and Netanjad, be nice together - if you do the tricky Road map-thing on real owners of the land as Little Tree said, Bin will promise you some sunny holidays in tourist resort Guantanamo of Castro."
- Astonishing, both sides of the quarrel believed her, because fine U.S.Casino plays and false UN promises about gaining lots of money are always taken for granted, by eager and orthodox cash humans, whereas waking up about assured future misery, is none of the chaotic facts, human brains will ever grasp.
And so, on some lost planet, history went on and on, governed by useless United Nations and low-IQ Congress of G-20. However not for some other 6013 years, but only some further few years, to the moment some swindling Nostradamus predicted for the Finals, not in Soccer, but in life existence of Adam and Eve and their followers.
And if they are not yet dead - these followers - they will live for ever and ever and ever-----
Rene Delavy - Berlin and Bournemouth
Author of "Hit-Parade of the best and worst U.S. Presidents" / "Hit-Parade of the greatest Criminal Deeds in History" / "The Missiles of David and the Stones of Goliath" and some other true Stories.